Dear Diabetes, You Suck

life with type 1 diabetes

Category: dear diabetes (Page 8 of 10)

Night Scout Victory! and my next project…

May 10, 2015 /

So I got the new phone (samsung galaxy 3)… and it worked. So excited. Like I said before, I won’t necessarily be using this all the time, but it was cool to see how it worked — and if I were a parent rather than the type 1, I’m sure I would be more keen to use it everyday. The next project I’m looking at is the xdrip (formerly DexDrip) that was  — you can find an intro here. The xDrip is a project put together by Stephen Black (@StephenIsTaken) that is so cool — find the git info here — basically taking NightScout and getting rid of the cable, Dexcom G4 to android without dexcom share — and then on top of that there is NightWatch that takes the information from xDrip, NightScout, or DexShare, and transmits to an android wear device.

I know that I will have this Dex-to-wrist capability once I get my new DexShare receiver and Apple Watch (both pending arrival), but until they arrive, and also because I think it will be fun to see how it works, I will be starting on this project.

I fell like I have just opened my eyes to trying to live a better life instead of just knowing there is a way and being stuck in fear that nothing will work and I’ll still be stuck where I am… if I don’t try I’ll still be here anyway, at least if I do try I get to keep working on really cool projects… next up, wireless xDrip bridge…

@NightscoutProj  @StephenIsTaken #WeAreNotWaiting

Night Scout Project… in progress

May 8, 2015 /
Screen Shot 2015-05-07 at 5.17.32 PM

nightscout.info — @NightScoutProj — #WeAreNotWaiting — #Awesome

So I got over my pride of “I don’t need this” and “I should know how to do this” and decided to build a night scout rig… even though there is no way in hell I am letting my parents monitor my numbers from across the country (perks of a late diagnosis), I could transmit to see my numbers from my primary phone so I don’t have to pull the dexcom out of my briefcase all the time… I think it’s over kill for me, but I want to understand how it works, it is ridiculous that this doesn’t exist already… I am learning more about it so I can be part of the solution.

Progress: I have the db end all setup (great directions!) — ordered the right OTC cable (plus a spare) from amazon… Best Buy was even less helpful than I expected them to be… then neither of the android phones I have seemed to work (one that I bought for the project and one that I had laying around), so I bought a Samsung Galaxy 3 that has been proven to work according to the Night Scout documentation — it arrived today, it’s charging now, so I’m hoping to get a working rig together tonight…

 

@NightscoutProj #WeAreNotWaiting

A shitty doctor’s appointment… as expected

May 7, 2015 /

my numbers have been shit, I know this, also I was traveling which rained crap all over my routine… nevertheless I am determined to keep the travel in my routine, so I’m adjusting my diabetes around my life and not the other way around. That being said… my numbers really were shit and I did really say “fuck it” a couple times… I mean I was 300+ or under 70 pretty much the whole time I was in NYC, in Denver I mistook a sugar drop as altitude adjustment and very nearly passed out (40)… there were some learning opportunities… on the whole it was an amazing trip, a testament to the fact that I can be away if and when I need to be… that it’s okay to ask for help, and there are creative solutions for when living on my own is sub-optimal, other than hiring a nanny for myself… go me! But really my numbers are shit, so I’m getting back on that now… back to paleo light… and “remember to eat” alarms, if that’s what it takes, then there it is… today is a positive day, there was a lot of swearing about this yesterday, my lap time to sanity is getting shorter — big improvement, xo

mystery and danger?

April 21, 2015 /

meh, not so much…. Mystery and Danger of Type 1 Diabetes, an NYT article found here

so far as I understand the article it breaks down to

stress > destabilization of immune system > Type 1 diabetes

while I agree with the premise, it’s basically republishing of really simple information — Type 1 is an autoimmune disease, it is different than Type 2 and it’s annoying to have to explain the difference to everyone who’s grandmother/uncle/sister had diabetes and was able to get rid of it by working out more, or still has it because they exist off of mountain dew and cheetos… no, I’m not bitter or angry and all… working through it… anyway, while nice for Type 1 and the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 to get some press, it’s not exactly ground breaking, or all that interesting if you have a basic understanding of autoimmune disorders.

back on the horse… a new horse

April 13, 2015 /

so here’s the deal… I feel better when I do the shit that I know I should be doing (go figure)… get enough sleep, wake up at the same time, eat at the same times and on a regular schedule… walk in the am… and like magic my body needs less insulin, I feel better… and then I stop jacking up on caffeine and my anxiety totally levels out… I know it’s rocket science-y level shit. But here’s the thing, sometimes I still don’t do this stuff… I’m getting better. I’ve started a nutrition program through a friend and my sugars have become stable… like stupid ridiculous stable. I’ve upped my protein level, taken gluten out (again)… and I feel so much better, it’s like everything in my body is moving again. I’ve been walking in the morning too… that has made a big difference in the rest of my day, both with my sugars and with my mood, outlook… a lot of the time I walk down to the beach, I am always insight of the water, something to be grateful for — so many things to be grateful for… like being in a grateful mood right now, so next time I’m in a shit mood I can look back at this and remember that shit moods always end.

Yesterday I had to eat a bed time snack… I resent having to eat at night because it doesn’t match up with my health/fitness goals… but I was a bit low (80), too low to go to sleep without an assured dexcom wakeup 2 hours later… so I ate a rice cake with almond butter… and then another one, and then I ate almond butter out of the jar… because I triggered the hunger monster… and because deep down (sometimes not so deep down at all) I am SUPER resentful at Diabetes. Why should I have to eat when I don’t want to — it sucks. This morning I woke up in the 200s, a carb “hangover” if you will…I had two choices, I could say fuck it, skip breakfast like I prefer to, skip my walk because it’s “inconvenient” today, and sit right down to “work”… or I could do what I know works… go for a walk, down a protein shake, and start over today, at that moment… so that’s what I did… 12-ish hours later I’m back in the 140s and dropping down a bit… still fighting the fishtail effect from being so high… I should test and eat… so I think I will. I’m choosing me, my health, and trying to get out of my own way in the process. Life is good, the guidance is there… now I just have to put one foot in front of the other… xo

now what?

March 14, 2015 /

I was really excited to obtain and process my own data… except I can’t (or haven’t been able to at this point) be able to use my efforts in a way that can answer the questions I have in a timeframe that is actually helpful. I need to be able to cross over my UP24 data (food and exercise) with my OmniPod data (insulin rates and boluses), with my dexcom (blood sugar reporting) — I want to know if what I’m doing is working. If walking at night vs. walking in the morning has affected my sugars in a good way or a bad way, or if the effect is neutral… in a way that I can understand and act upon, within a timeframe that is relevant. I know that this is actually asking a lot, but it is also something that I believe would be a catalyst in my care… in the way that I am able to live my life, my quality of life, my ability to live better and avoid long term consequences of my body’s inability to regulate my own blood sugar. a fact that is not my fault. a fact that I cannot fix or think my way out of. no changes in my diet or plans or spreadsheets are going to make this go away. and this makes me feel so upset, and frustrated, and confused, and I can’t remember a time where I accepted that fact about anything. there are times when I have balanced it out and decided that the juice is not worth the squeeze, but this is not one of those times. I feel like I have hit a brick wall. I have accepted walking as exercise… do you realize how absolutely ridiculous that is? I am 27. I was doing crossfit. I played year round lacrosse for years… I passed the US Navy physical for 3 years running… sometimes just barely, but I never failed to meet a physical standard. Until now. I feel broken. I don’t remember at time before diabetes where I have felt that my hope was in question. I am close to giving up, or I have felt like giving up. I have been on a nutrition plan since october and have vacillated around the same weight the whole time… when I decide to do something I don’t fail. I feel like this is ruining that fact. I find ways to fix things, to figure things out that’s what I do. Fuck this. now back to figuring this out. fuck.

the closest thing

March 14, 2015 /

So I’ve knocked diasend before, but I’m saying now that it’s the closest thing to a working solution that I can find so far, but I still can’t see the information in an actionable way. I want to know if the changes I’m making are working… I wanted to do a pull-up so I put a pull up bar in my kitchen, made a sticker chart, and killed it… I’m up to 2 unassisted pull-ups and just went down a band size. I want to have the same control over my diabetic decisions… figure out what’s working, and then master it. Now what?

Prevalence of Diabetes by GDP

March 4, 2015 /

Inspired by a more complex dashboard to better understand the direct correlation between GDP and the prevalence of diabetes, I created the chart below:

So the short answer is yes… the prevalence of diabetes increases in correlation to a lower GDP.

This chart is based on the dashboard and data provided by Ramon Martinez on his blog post Prevalence of Diabetes in the World, 2013.

Below is the chart on which brought to mind my question about diabetes and GDP — Hans Rosling’s Health and Weath of Nations, revised as of January 2015.

 

GapMinderImage

 

Hans Rosling is a professor of global health at Sweden’s Karolinska Institute, and a leader in data visualization, focusing on dispelling common myths about the so called developing world. What sets Rosling apart isn’t just his apt observations of broad social and economic trends, but the stunning way he presents them. If you’re interested, his site is gapminder.org and below is his most popular TED talk “The best stats you’ve ever seen”

 

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