IMG_1748so Halloween was good… I was a dinosaur… ┬ábecause I love dinosaurs and also because I happen to own a dinosaur onsie which makes it hands down the easiest, most comfortable halloween costume I could think of… but tonight I’m talking about a different kind of spooky, the kind where your numbers look right, but you know they shouldn’t — that there might be a stacking nightmare looming… should I go to bed and sleep while I can? Or give up now and just watch tv while I wait for the plummet? Or the opposite where I’m stuck high for 10+ days and can’t figure it out… and then when I finally, carefully bring it down with exercise, literally tip toeing around trying not to expend too much energy that I jilt my sugars off one way or the other, trying to avoid the rollercoaster… yes, I know I just came down by 200 and I need to treat before I hit 50, but I only want to treat a little because I don’t want to spike back hard the other direction… but I also don’t want to die… it makes me feel like I’m holding my breath all the time. I know that there is no “good” BG, but really let’s be honest… 90-120 makes me feel like a rockstar, up to 180 is okay, over 200 and beyond is just a gradual increase of how horrible I feel about how terrible I am (at taking care of myself) — that part in parentheses is the important part… or the fact that it is in parentheses is the important part because separating my self worth from my BG numbers is really hard.