I feel like I’m living in a parallel universe. First off, I’m living in MD… in my parent’s house… let’s just pause and digest that one for a minute. no seriously. in my parent’s house… when I left for college I swore I would never come home… that person, the person that ran to CA, to USC… and let’s be real, away from home… that person doesn’t exist any more. In fact, there have been a few iterations of Sophie since then, but I’ve landed on this new one for the moment… I’m sure there will be more iterations, I hope there will be, I never want to stop growing, changing, evolving, but this stage is kind of awkward… I would like to move onto the next stage already… the one where I feel healthy, know how to eat and exercise, and live, as freely as I possibly can from this bullshit disease that has me ever dependent upon manufactured insulin. bullshit. fuck. pisser. god dammit. fuck.
Month: August 2015
what’s my blood sugar? wait, when do I expire?…how much of the three days do I have left? I mean when does my pump expire? +8, so when does it really expire? what will I be doing then? Am I sure that that’s what I’m doing? will it change? do I care? is it in the middle of the night? or early in the morning? when I most likely will roll over on top of the screeching pod and continue to sleep, then dealing the rest of the day with the fall out of having no insulin for a few hours… (#fail but #truth)… when does my pump expire? when do I expire? sometimes I’m not sure which is the real question is… today’s answer is 11:31am +8 = 7:31pm… around dinner time, I’ll probably be awake and most likely will change it on time… I think I’ll be home, I’ll have to remember not to go out for dinner… fuck this. fuck diabetes.