I feel like I’m slipping, but only because I’m trying to ratchet up from a crawl to a run, well maybe from a walk to a brisk walk, but still… it leaves me with the options to slow down or push through, my answer my whole life would have been to push through, but then the last few years — getting sober, learning to ask for and accept help, diabetes (crash, boom!), — have taught me to slow down to meet present challenges, but now I’m starting to feel the itch… the “fuck it, just run” itch… and I’m more and more inclined to listen to that voice, it feels like I’m risking a relapse in every sense of the word, but I can’t help but also feel that staying still is keeping me sick… who the fuck knows, at the end of the day it’s my life… I’ll keep you posted.