Do I have that much school work or am I avoiding failing by avoiding starting… all the parts are here, even the insulin pump. I’ve decided how I want to approach it — I’m going to wear the medtronic pump without the APS for a few days while I build it and to make sure that my baseline settings are right with a different pump and get used to the medtronic controls… the build should be straight forward, I know I’ll run into hiccups, but I also know from other builds that I won’t know what those are until I get there. I know where to reach out for help, I’ve started reviewing documentation, so why haven’t I really started? I’m scared. I keep identifying fear, but then not moving through it. I’m frustrated by my own inaction. I know the next steps, but at the same time don’t know what to do. I am busy to be sure, between school and relative extracurriculars, like the hackathon I’m at right now, I don’t have that much down time, but this is my health we’re talking about, my quality of life… why am I not making time for it? Am I being too hard on myself? Probably. Do I need to be hard on myself to get started on this? Probably.