Dear Diabetes

software developer and patient advocate

Just a normal day

I’ve been thinking I should probably try to write on a day that I’m not raging and mad at diabetes, so I started writing today and I remembered that there are no days off, there are no days when I am not mad at diabetes, because there are only brief glimpses when I forget or I’m not worried about something… when my current pod expires, what my blood sugar is, if it’s going to stay there, is it affecting my ability to concentrate or do what I’m trying to do, do I have snacks with me, if not where are the closest ones, where’s my kit, is my phone working, if not is my receiver working, if not… wtf, how do I fix this… that all is literally in a minute or less in my head all the time. And I’m supposed to be able to carry on like a normal person, be able to think, get work done, cook, take care of myself, all while making thousands of micro decisions a day just to stay alive. I shouldn’t have to text my parents to tell them that I’m not passed out and dead twice a day when my low BG alarms go off, I shouldn’t have to second guess every chill, every shake… I just mistyped a word, did I just make a mistake or am I shaking from a low I haven’t felt… who the fuck knows — I wouldn’t know without my Dexcom, I don’t feel anything until I’m in the 50s… which is less than ideal. Anyway… this is me not rage-y mad, just regular daily diabetic life mad. There has to be a better way…

1 Comment

  1. jakes halgreen

    July 24, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    I know exactly how you feel, been diagnosed about a year back. It sucks. This sucks. Fuck this…

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