Dear Diabetes, you suck.

a front end developer who also happens to have type 1 diabetes

Month: April 2015

mystery and danger?

meh, not so much…. Mystery and Danger of Type 1 Diabetes, an NYT article found here

so far as I understand the article it breaks down to

stress > destabilization of immune system > Type 1 diabetes

while I agree with the premise, it’s basically republishing of really simple information — Type 1 is an autoimmune disease, it is different than Type 2 and it’s annoying to have to explain the difference to everyone who’s grandmother/uncle/sister had diabetes and was able to get rid of it by working out more, or still has it because they exist off of mountain dew and cheetos… no, I’m not bitter or angry and all… working through it… anyway, while nice for Type 1 and the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 to get some press, it’s not exactly ground breaking, or all that interesting if you have a basic understanding of autoimmune disorders.

back on the horse… a new horse

so here’s the deal… I feel better when I do the shit that I know I should be doing (go figure)… get enough sleep, wake up at the same time, eat at the same times and on a regular schedule… walk in the am… and like magic my body needs less insulin, I feel better… and then I stop jacking up on caffeine and my anxiety totally levels out… I know it’s rocket science-y level shit. But here’s the thing, sometimes I still don’t do this stuff… I’m getting better. I’ve started a nutrition program through a friend and my sugars have become stable… like stupid ridiculous stable. I’ve upped my protein level, taken gluten out (again)… and I feel so much better, it’s like everything in my body is moving again. I’ve been walking in the morning too… that has made a big difference in the rest of my day, both with my sugars and with my mood, outlook… a lot of the time I walk down to the beach, I am always insight of the water, something to be grateful for — so many things to be grateful for… like being in a grateful mood right now, so next time I’m in a shit mood I can look back at this and remember that shit moods always end.

Yesterday I had to eat a bed time snack… I resent having to eat at night because it doesn’t match up with my health/fitness goals… but I was a bit low (80), too low to go to sleep without an assured dexcom wakeup 2 hours later… so I ate a rice cake with almond butter… and then another one, and then I ate almond butter out of the jar… because I triggered the hunger monster… and because deep down (sometimes not so deep down at all) I am SUPER resentful at Diabetes. Why should I have to eat when I don’t want to — it sucks. This morning I woke up in the 200s, a carb “hangover” if you will…I had two choices, I could say fuck it, skip breakfast like I prefer to, skip my walk because it’s “inconvenient” today, and sit right down to “work”… or I could do what I know works… go for a walk, down a protein shake, and start over today, at that moment… so that’s what I did… 12-ish hours later I’m back in the 140s and dropping down a bit… still fighting the fishtail effect from being so high… I should test and eat… so I think I will. I’m choosing me, my health, and trying to get out of my own way in the process. Life is good, the guidance is there… now I just have to put one foot in front of the other… xo

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