Dear Diabetes, you suck.

a front end developer who also happens to have type 1 diabetes

I’ll be available today between 1-2 pm

detour-sign

I am definitely processing my OmniPod experience backwards, maybe because I was so overwhelmed that I wasn’t processing anything for awhile.

I had gone to my doctor and gotten the prescription for the insulin for the pump settings. I emailed the rep to confirm that she had received the settings from my doctor, figuring that I would have a few days, maybe a week to mentally prepare myself, I would watch a few videos, talk to my sponsor about it, make a plan to go to a meeting right before and/or after, and then…

“I am available today between 1-2 pm.  Can we meet then?” That is what the OmniPod rep replied to me… at 4:50am, which of course I didn’t read until 8:30am… which gave me a 4.5 hour window to “prepare myself.” Calling this a major detour would be an understatement. She apologized for the short notice, and said that she’s going to be away on vacation and wanted to set me up before she’s out of the office — I appreciate that. sort of.

…although, I had thought I’d have at least another week of denial…

I started this post before I left to meet her, but in the rush to wrap up work and get out of the house, I had even less time to prepare myself for the impending doom. okay, so I’m being a little dramatic… that’s how it felt.

In hindsight it was just as terrible as I thought it would be. I felt exposed in every way a person can feel exposed. I was on the brink of tears for half of the appointment. I wasn’t really listening to what she was saying, and worst of all, like every other dietitian appointment I have ever had, it was completely useless. I could have answered all those questions just from the literature that I had already read, add in some YouTube videos, and I’ve now more than doubled the useful information that was given in that appointment. If you do your reading your first appointment should be about 15 minutes, do the first insertion and then let me go home. And here’s the best part… I’m supposed to meet her again? For what purpose I asked, “to go over more information” she says… I’ll go because I’m committed to doing all the tactical tasks asked of me by my doctor/this disease, but I won’t like it.

I did not appreciate the bursting of my denial bubble. Especially not when it was with basically wasted time. Having now had time with the omnipod, emotionally I still hate it, tactically it’s working really well.

2 Comments

  1. You are dealing with a lot, lot, lot thrown at you all at once. Diabetes itself, and now all the hardware – it’s a lot to take in and reconcile in your head. I was super hesitant about trying a pump 8 years ago – I didn’t want to wear some “thing” attached to me all the time. I resisted at every appointment, when my endo would bring it up. Then I got one and I STILL felt really uncomfortable about it for a while, but talking with others and reading blogs of people that wear pumps (and now CGMs, too) helped me find some balance and that feeling of, “yeah, this isn’t ideal, but I can figure out how to make this work”. I hope you find that feeling soon.

  2. Thanks Kim — I have definitely felt all those things. I was resistant when my endo brought it up too, I dragged my heels through the whole process. Glad to hear you made it to the other end of the tunnel (or at least a bright spot a bit further on than where I’m at).

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